It’s excellent marketing. It really is. I must give credit where credit is due.
Someone saw a hole in the market that they could fill, and they hit it perfect. Simple. Smart. Well priced.
The Elf on a mothafuckin shelf.
A self published book that originally was a run of 300 copies eventually sold millions and became a best seller, playing on the fact that the newest generation(s) of parents aren’t parents at all. They don’t teach or punish their children. They don’t instill in their children the lessons that those of us born before 1980 had instilled in us. They can’t shut their kid up with a look. They can’t quietly say the child’s name in that menacingly calm way and stop them dead in their tracks.
Horrible con artists that strive to sort of control through bribery and time outs. A generation of brats fueled by their parents’ lack of spinal stiffness due to the media and corporations and Oprah and Dr. Fucking Phil and Oz and not enough Dr. Suess and Corporal M.F. Punishment. Sent through everyday protected by helmets and kneepads and hand sanitizer and Clorox wipes and cell phones and prescreened Halloween candy and no pledge of allegiance or using the word god.
God forbid you teach your child at an early age to be decent and respectful. Heaven knows we wouldn’t want to offend a child’s delicate fucking sensibilities by making them not throw themselves down in the middle of the store because they know if they do that their ass will be sore when they get home. Wouldn’t want the other people in Walmart thinking we are mean for telling our kids that if they don’t stop telling us no and get their ass to the car that they will be eating soap for dinner.
No… instead we have decided that in order to not be OUR parents, we just won’t BE parents. We sit them in front of a TV or a video game and let them stay there all day. We hand them a cell phone, an xbox, an iPad, an iPod and never have a meal at our dinner tables, and then wonder why they don’t listen.
You can’t start trying to be a parent when they are 10. It doesn’t work that way. And if you didn’t teach their bratty asses to behave at 2, then your dumb ass elf is just a waste of money. Because at 11, when they find out that Santa isn’t real…. that elf is no longer your “Get Out Of Parenting Free Card”.
Pay attention to your kid. Teach them. Love them. Spoil them. Punish and correct them. But make them smart and polite and respectful and stop expecting everyone else to control your child(but don’t touch them or offend them or I’ll sue!).
Otherwise… clean up that room in the basement. They’ll be needing to live there in 20 years.
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