Box Wine-O

21735_10151132264525946_248182185_nSo the gf and I have become boxed wine junkies. I like the Franzia White Zinfandel, while she prefers their Chillable Red.

We believe the positives are as follows:

  • At $13 for five liters, way more alcohol for the money(both are 9% or 10% by volume) than most beers or hard alcohols.
  • Less trips to the store for alcohol, thereby saving gas money and decreasing our carbon footprint.
  • Less packaging going into landfills.
  • Wine is generally healthier than beer.
  • Wine lowers your inhibitions, making you (potentially) sexier and funnier.

In addition, we get to drink it out of the sweet ass homemade wineglasses you see above.

“My new homemade redneck wine glasses, for the wine drinker that likes to control how much they drink. Convenient handle and easy pour spout for “pouring some out for the homies” without making a mess. Get yours before the holidays for only $10!

 

If you liked this post, I invite you to read the previous one or others in the archives. Before you go, please subscribe to this blog through the available RSS options or via email. I’d be thrilled if you took advantage of the sharing buttons located at the bottom of the post, and if you enjoy this blog,please click the “like” button to the right for my Facebook page. I’m sincerely grateful for you taking the time to read and comment on my posts. Special thanks to Amberr Meadows for her graciousness on blog help!

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Elves and Shelves and Where We Lost Ourselves

It’s excellent marketing. It really is. I must give credit where credit is due.

Someone saw a hole in the market that they could fill, and they hit it perfect. Simple. Smart. Well priced.

The Elf on a mothafuckin shelf.

A self published book that originally was a run of 300 copies eventually sold millions and became a best seller, playing on the fact that the newest generation(s) of parents aren’t parents at all. They don’t teach or punish their children. They don’t instill in their children the lessons that those of us born before 1980 had instilled in us. They can’t shut their kid up with a look. They can’t quietly say the child’s name in that menacingly calm way and stop them dead in their tracks.

Horrible con artists that strive to sort of control through bribery and time outs. A generation of brats fueled by their parents’ lack of spinal stiffness due to the media and corporations and Oprah and Dr. Fucking Phil and Oz and not enough Dr. Suess and Corporal M.F. Punishment. Sent through everyday protected by helmets and kneepads and hand sanitizer and Clorox wipes and cell phones and prescreened Halloween candy and no pledge of allegiance or using the word god.

God forbid you teach your child at an early age to be decent and respectful. Heaven knows we wouldn’t want to offend a child’s delicate fucking sensibilities by making them not throw themselves down in the middle of the store because they know if they do that their ass will be sore when they get home. Wouldn’t want the other people in Walmart thinking we are mean for telling our kids that if they don’t stop telling us no and get their ass to the car that they will be eating soap for dinner.

No… instead we have decided that in order to not be OUR parents, we just won’t BE parents. We sit them in front of a TV or a video game and let them stay there all day. We hand them a cell phone, an xbox, an iPad, an iPod and never have a meal at our dinner tables, and then wonder why they don’t listen.

You can’t start trying to be a parent when they are 10. It doesn’t work that way. And if you didn’t teach their bratty asses to behave at 2, then your dumb ass elf is just a waste of money. Because at 11, when they find out that Santa isn’t real…. that elf is no longer your “Get Out Of Parenting Free Card”.

Pay attention to your kid. Teach them. Love them. Spoil them. Punish and correct them. But make them smart and polite and respectful and stop expecting everyone else to control your child(but don’t touch them or offend them or I’ll sue!).

Otherwise… clean up that room in the basement. They’ll be needing to live there in 20 years.

 

If you liked this post, I invite you to read the previous one or others in the archives. Before you go, please subscribe to this blog through the available RSS options or via email. I’d be thrilled if you took advantage of the sharing buttons located at the bottom of the post, and if you enjoy this blog,please click the “like” button to the right for my Facebook page. I’m sincerely grateful for you taking the time to read and comment on my posts. Special thanks to Amberr Meadows for her graciousness on blog help!

Been A Long Time

Hey peepholes… remember me?

I know there are a few people who were hoping I wouldn’t write again. Well… Jokes on you, jackass.

Over the past 9 months I’ve built up a lot of rage and I think it’s time to get back to writing and let this be my therapy. I hope that you’ve stuck around and will continue to read and share what you like here.

The career is going pretty well. J and I are doing better than ever. The little man is awesome. Life is grand. Hope you are well… feel free to say hi!

Tim

 

If you liked this post, I invite you to read the previous one or others in the archives. Before you go, please subscribe to this blog through the available RSS options or via email. I’d be thrilled if you took advantage of the sharing buttons located at the bottom of the post, and if you enjoy this blog,please click the “like” button to the right for my Facebook page. I’m sincerely grateful for you taking the time to read and comment on my posts. Special thanks to Amberr Meadows for her graciousness on blog help!

End of School, Blah Blah Blah

School is done. Finally. No more tests or practicals. Time to start getting paid to do this.

 

Today I go set up to take the state board, and once that(scheduling the exam) is done I’ll be able to start at the salon. And of course you guys will get a full rundown on the salon here in the next few days. Understand that I’m going to be tenacious in getting(and keeping) clients.

 

I’d love to tell you an exciting story today, but at the moment I have absolutely bubkus. I’ve broached a few offensive topics on FB in the last 36 hours, but until I get a blog sized opinion written up, I’m going to not get into them here.

 

Actually over the last couple days I’ve just caught up on housework, read blogs, and wasted time relaxing. I’m finding that I’m not real good at relaxing. I’m looking forward to the salon and being busy again.

 

Talk to you all very soon!

 

Tim

Life in Taiwan, Diatribes, Bumps And The Young And Curious.

I wanted to pass along some blogs that I think some of you may enjoy. I’m going to try to do this about once a week, just to introduce you to some new bloggers and new perspectives.

Some of these are going to be blogs I’ve been following for quite awhile. Some are ones that have found my writing and then I’ve gone and checked them out and loved them. So by all means… if you have a few minutes, go take a look at some of these writers. I really enjoy what they are doing, and I think you will, too. If your blog isn’t here the first week, keep coming back, it will make it if I see you and can really get into what you are doing. So make sure I see you. lol

Amberr Meadows, creator of “Like a Bump on a Blog”. She blogs on a million topics and seems to do them all well. And she has been a huge help to me in my work here on this site.

If you enjoy the fact that sometimes I rant and other times I do the opposite of that… then you will LOVE “DiatribesAndOvations“. The topic could be anything from STD’s to Pat Sajak, but you will get an honest opinion every time.

Then there is “sarah On The Go“, a self described “Lifestyle blog for the young and curious”. She hits a lot of different topics, from travel to current events, and has even added some shopping opportunities to her blog. Check out Sarah!

And finally(for today)… A man from South Carolina who teaches English in Taiwan. He has the advantage of being able to tell things from the perspective of a visitor, an American, and a resident of Taiwan. He tells personal stories and gives a great viewpoint on the differences we don’t often think about between the culture at home and abroad. Please go check out “unlikelyexpat“.

So there you have it. A few of my favorites, and I hope they become your favorites, too. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon!

If you liked this post, I invite you to read the previous one or others in the archives. Before you go, please subscribe to this blog through the available RSS options or via email. I’d be thrilled if you took advantage of the sharing buttons located at the bottom of the post, and if you enjoy this blog,please click the “like” button to the right for my Facebook page. I’m sincerely grateful for you taking the time to read and comment on my posts. Special thanks to Amberr Meadows for her graciousness on blog help!

The Louis C.K. Drinking Game

So J and I went out for dinner for her birthday last night. We couldn’t really decide what to do afterwards, so we decided to play a variation of the Super Troopers Drinking Game. Kept us from drinking somewhere and then worrying about how to get home drunk and in spotty weather, and it saved some cash. I already had most of a handle of Jim Beam Red Stag here, so we just needed some Coke to go with it.

 

Before I go any further I should say that we went to 8th Street Steak House in Pekin and had one of the best steaks I’ve ever had. My friend Frank runs the place, and I have to say, if you live in the area and don’t go try their steaks, you are doing yourself a huge injustice.

 

Anywho… We stopped off and got some soda on the way home so that we could play the drinking game. The rules are as follows:

1. Get a huge glass of your favorite drink.

2. Put on your favorite crude stand up comedian or crude movie.

3. Drink every time any curse word is uttered.

4. See how far you can make it before you throw up, pass out, or give up.

 

The first time we played we used Super Troopers. 45 minutes into the movie we had to stop. We were done. The room spun and it was a good time.

 

His stand up is awesome!

 

 

Last night we were debating between Lewis Black and Louis C.K. I was positive that Louis would be a better choice because of Lewis’ constant use of the F-bomb. Boy was I wrong.

 

After watching twenty… TWENTY. 20. Twenty minutes of his show. We had both consumed five very well mixed Red Stag and cokes. Each.

 

So yes, Louis C.K. curses way more than Lewis Black. And got us drunk in 20 minutes.

 

I hope all of you have as good of a weekend as we had last night. A very special I love you to J… Happy birthday:) And happy birthday to my Roomy!

 

 

If you liked this post, I invite you to read the previous one or others in the archives. Before you go, please subscribe to this blog through the available RSS options or via email. I’d be thrilled if you took advantage of the sharing buttons located at the bottom of the post, and if you enjoy this blog,please click the “like” button to the right for my Facebook page. I’m sincerely grateful for you taking the time to read and comment on my posts. Special thanks to Amberr Meadows for her graciousness on blog help!

My Fake Salon

So due to circumstances beyond my control, today is a break from the insanity of the last week of school. The unfortunate side is that I am spending it working on my fake salon for the business report i have to complete before I can take the finals. Once that report is done I may post bits and pieces here to show you all the damn work that is causing such a headache.

 

Hold still, dammit!

 

But the first day of practicals went well, and I’m sure the second day will too. Then I just have a day and a half of finals and I’m out of there. It’s stressful and exciting, but I have some great people supporting me. A special thanks to The Boss Lady and to the lovely J, without whom none of this would be possible.

 

 

If you liked this post, I invite you to read the previous one or others in the archives. Before you go, please subscribe to this blog through the available RSS options or via email. I’d be thrilled if you took advantage of the sharing buttons located at the bottom of the post, and if you enjoy this blog,please click the “like” button to the right for my Facebook page. I’m sincerely grateful for you taking the time to read and comment on my posts. Special thanks to Amberr Meadows for her graciousness on blog help!